Vintage: John Holmes My Tongue is Quick 2

You know this is just a toy phone. Sure I know it's just a toy phone. But you sure as hell don't think in my business that I'm gonna trust old mother Bell or J Edgar, not to mention all those hot little operators listening in on my calls.

Probably fingering themselves and plugging those hot little phone plugs into their itchy little pussies. Not me, this is a private business, right?

Okay. Hello? Hello? Yeah, Nicky Butane. Private Dick speaking. Yes ma'am. Uh, yes. Our service is completely private and confidential.

You know we... Well no, it's $100 an hour. Well whatever turns you on. No, no credit cards and we don't give blue chip stamps. Yeah, sure, come right on over. What's your name? You just want to be known as Superstar. Fine lady, you know, and don't make a damn bit of difference to me. Huh? Yeah, right away, okay? Fine. Goodbye.

That was fast.